Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I think my head is going to explode

Okay, so another rant/vent, this time in English. Vague, non-descriptive English, but English.

So, yes, as some of you figured out, the last rant was about a girl, someone very, very dear to me. I didn't know if she liked me as much as I did but I was very scared of hurting her so I hid my feelings. I shouldn't have and it was stupid but, I am stupid, so it fits.

Anyway, long story short, she found out and, against all odds, she feels the same way. Seriously can't get over this! I mean, what are the chances that you meet someone who becomes a great friend and then turns into the person of your dreams and THEN you find out shares your feelings.

Now the bad, this relationship will be weird on many levels which I won't get into now. Also, I just started a relationship with another person that I can now not continue because of my feelings. I just couldn't ignore them and lie and pretend they didn't exist for the first person. I hate to end it with this other girl because she is so nice but, unfortunately, I can't love two people equally at once so I must choose, and choose I have.

So, I am now freaking out, wondering if I chose right, wondering if I'm being an idiot (which I'm sure I am), wondering if this will just end up hurting me or someone else (well, I suppose it's a given that someone's going to end up hurt, no matter what), and wondering if I'm just being impulsive.

But, the more I think about it the better it gets. I think I've chosen the right person and, at the very least, my heart agrees. I just need to get my brain to agree, but I think he does too. However, in the meantime, I am going crazy and am going from panic attacks to smiling uncontrollably to anything and everything in-between. So crazy!

Ugh, and I still have to break up with the person tomorrow. I mean, we've only gone on two dates but we clicked fairly well so things moved along pretty quickly. It just wouldn't be fair or right for me to be with her though. I hope she forgives me.

I need to eat food, tummy is complaining. I shall go eat food now and try to sort out my head. Sleep will probably help a lot. And time. Sleep and time, I can do that.

So, yes, this is what has been delaying Harrison's Mind (and I've been my usual busy self in general).

Oh, though in other good news, my frolicking worked, I have now generated a category 4 hurricane for Cyh. Apparently I did it too well, anyone in the cone of uncertainty please, PLEASE be careful. That actually includes me as well, Maine has a good potential to be hit by a REALLY strong hurricane, so weird when that happens but this could actually be really bad for some people. Here's to hoping it misses everybody and goes out to sea.

Alright, food time.

Thanks for listening.


  1. Your life sounds like a teenage romance film, a web series creator...torn between two loves and forced to make a tough decision! jk, anyway hope everything works out for you!

  2. ugh, my life would make a great soap opera at times.

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  4. I've always believed that as long as you do the right thing, you can't go wrong. This situation is confusing and honestly, and this is the hard part, the decision is up to you.

    I'm sure you'll do fine. I know it won't be easy for you, but you are a good person at heart (at least from what I've seen here), so I know you will be fine. :-)

    Oh, and on the note of the hurricane, I told you that messing with the space time continuum had its consequences. I live near Boston and I'm kinda wondering if its gonna head our way too. lol

  5. Attention duelists! My hair is telling me that I've made the right decision. :P

    (I'm going insane, can you tell? I'm okay with this though.)

  6. Why do you keep saying "attention duelists"? I'm the only one here!

  7. So THAT'S why it's been so windy! And I'm pretty sure we've been getting some of the outer rain bands. It even rained today!


    I give up. I hope it hits me. Our hurricane windows have yet to be tested. I haven't watched the tropical updates in...three days-ish. I should probably check the Cone.

    Anyway, you're awesome, so I'm sure you'll be fine. Thanks for the storm!!!

  8. @Ian "going insane?" I thought you were already there. lol. As far as your life: all I have to say is that your symptoms are normal. And it seems like you chose right. Hard to say though. Good luck anyways.

  9. Well you chose who you think you love and that's the best thing you can do, hopefully you can still be friends with the other. Also, look on the bright side, you have girlfriend at least. I only have a crush and never had a girl friend because most of the girls at my school are mean, annoying, or taken... or pregnant. *sigh* I hate love sometimes.

  10. This is one of the reasons why I'm refusing to EVER have a girlfriend/wife. The relationship is too great a responsibility.

    I never encountered hurricanes, just rain.

    One more thing: Tomorrow, which is my bday, I'm gonna be 17! Ring a bell? City 17!

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  12. It all depends on your decision, as long as you chose the right one.

    Also, I found a website that might be useful for venting. You can choose any language to translate to another language. Link is down below:


    @Professoboy: Me too. I never encountered hurricanes in my whole life.

  13. @Ian and to think that not too long ago you were considering dating sites. Well, good for you. I hope she enjoys video games and it would be really cool if you guys could both speak in Na'Vi, then you could speak privately in front of other people.

  14. Well, actually, I did try a dating site and it worked quite well. Unfortunately, things got complicated but the actual act of meeting people from the dating site was quite pleasant and I would recommend it to anyone who works a lot or generally doesn't have time to meet people normally.

    But, yes, I'm glad things worked out and she does enjoy video games and a bunch of other things. She's very amazing and wonderful. Not sure about Na'vi though, if she wants to learn then I will teach her but I'm happy with any language.

  15. Least Earl isn't hitting me. I got my fair share of that crap during Gustav. I couldn't get out of my feakin' neighborhood, there were so many downed trees!

  16. Hey Ian,
    I quess I'm a little late but i just wanted to say that imo you acted in the only right, honest way. A lot of guys would just try to keep both relationships up for some time but the fact that you took responsibility and was honest to the girl you left means you got more balls than a lot of those "macho" types of guy.

  17. It isnt a Hurricane anymore, it dipped from lvl 4 to lvl 2 and is now classified as a "Tropical Storm" and since we are not on a small island filled with dinosaurs, i think we will be fine.
    ~ Mako

  18. My life ended since I have been unemployed for the last year. You're lucky in pursuing a relationship because most women don't like a guy that unable to find a job in the bad market out there. Consider yourself lucky.

  19. P.S. Dating sites bite ass, Ian. Too many selfish women around here in Madison, WI and way too liberal in my opinion. I am usually not what they want me to be because their dating style only makes me more afraid of dating them.