Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I think my head is going to explode

Okay, so another rant/vent, this time in English. Vague, non-descriptive English, but English.

So, yes, as some of you figured out, the last rant was about a girl, someone very, very dear to me. I didn't know if she liked me as much as I did but I was very scared of hurting her so I hid my feelings. I shouldn't have and it was stupid but, I am stupid, so it fits.

Anyway, long story short, she found out and, against all odds, she feels the same way. Seriously can't get over this! I mean, what are the chances that you meet someone who becomes a great friend and then turns into the person of your dreams and THEN you find out shares your feelings.

Now the bad, this relationship will be weird on many levels which I won't get into now. Also, I just started a relationship with another person that I can now not continue because of my feelings. I just couldn't ignore them and lie and pretend they didn't exist for the first person. I hate to end it with this other girl because she is so nice but, unfortunately, I can't love two people equally at once so I must choose, and choose I have.

So, I am now freaking out, wondering if I chose right, wondering if I'm being an idiot (which I'm sure I am), wondering if this will just end up hurting me or someone else (well, I suppose it's a given that someone's going to end up hurt, no matter what), and wondering if I'm just being impulsive.

But, the more I think about it the better it gets. I think I've chosen the right person and, at the very least, my heart agrees. I just need to get my brain to agree, but I think he does too. However, in the meantime, I am going crazy and am going from panic attacks to smiling uncontrollably to anything and everything in-between. So crazy!

Ugh, and I still have to break up with the person tomorrow. I mean, we've only gone on two dates but we clicked fairly well so things moved along pretty quickly. It just wouldn't be fair or right for me to be with her though. I hope she forgives me.

I need to eat food, tummy is complaining. I shall go eat food now and try to sort out my head. Sleep will probably help a lot. And time. Sleep and time, I can do that.

So, yes, this is what has been delaying Harrison's Mind (and I've been my usual busy self in general).

Oh, though in other good news, my frolicking worked, I have now generated a category 4 hurricane for Cyh. Apparently I did it too well, anyone in the cone of uncertainty please, PLEASE be careful. That actually includes me as well, Maine has a good potential to be hit by a REALLY strong hurricane, so weird when that happens but this could actually be really bad for some people. Here's to hoping it misses everybody and goes out to sea.

Alright, food time.

Thanks for listening.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


So, I need to vent, but this is stuff I don't want anyone to read, but at the same time just talking to myself doesn't seem sufficient. So I'm going to scream it to the world...in Na'vi. I have no idea why...well, that's not true, Cyh did it first (in Japanese) and made me realize how effective it is to do that (and how frustrating it is to try to figure out what someone is talking about, GAH! XD :P).

So, yeah, here's everything that's been eating away at my sanity for the past month or two. If you can figure out what it says then you are worthy of knowing some of my most deepest thoughts. For everyone else, feel free to ask me questions about this, I shall ignore them forthwith.

Kaltxì ulte zola’u nìprrte’ nemfa oeyä keye’ung.

Oeru fì'u lu a tsranten oeyä elturu. Zene oel fì'uti piveng tuteoru fu oe pxayor! Oeyä eltuìl pereng oeru futa zene oe ke 'efu talun fì'u hiyìk sì lehrrap lu nì'aw. Slä, oeru lu tì'efu, ye'rìn ulte fìtì'efu ke hayum. Oel ke omum futa zene oe sivi.

Tse, san peu lu fìtì'efu a nga 'efu? sìk nga pawm. Oel ke omum fya'oti a tsun oel tsa'uti pivlltxe, tafral oe pìylltxe nìftue. Oeru tuteo leiu yawne (kxawm tsalì'u lu txur nìhawng, tuteo oeru prrte' lu nìtxan). Po lu fra'u a oe nivew ta tute (ulte nì'ul). Ngian, pol tsatsengìt terok ulte oel fìtsenget tok. Kop, oe ke new fìkem a oel oengeyä tì’eylanit skivä'ä, tafral tsun pol fì'uti ke omum. Oengeyä tì’eylanit lu letsranten nìtxan, poru tìsraw lu ulte oel ke new futa tìsraw seyki poru.

Set, nga tsolam? Po lu txantsan nìwotx ulte oel new ke'uti slä oe seyki poru lu prrte'. Tsa-hey! Ke muiä, oeru pelun? Ke sìltsan, kehe, ke sìltsan nìwotx.

Oe ultxa seri lahea tuteru slä oe txopu si tafral oel ke omum futa txo oel run tuteti a tsun oeru yawne livu tafral oel rayun tuteti a lu na po. Tìawneri pak, oeru ke prrte' ta tsa'u slä tsun oe rivey luke tsatì'efu. Oe sìlpey tsnì tsun oel rivun tuteti a oeru leyku prrte' tì’i’avay krrä, fì'u ke lu muiä. Slä peu tsun oe sivi? Oe ke omum.

Ha, zene oe si ke'u. Hapxì oeyä lu kerusey fu holum ulte tìreyìl tolìng oeru tuteti a tsun oeru ke lu. Oe sìlpey tsnì txo Sayìl fì'uti tsaye'a a po ke sti oeru. Oel omum futa fì'u ke lu txantslusam.

Tse, oeri po lu sìltsana 'eylan, oeru lu prrte' ta poyä aypamrel ulte poyä lrrtok. Po lu sìltsana tute ulte oel new futa poru lu fpom frakrr. Kxawm tsun oe por livu yawne kop srak? Kxawm ke lu.

Tsa-hey! Oe lu skxawng nìwotx! Pelun?!

Nga oeru lu yawne ulte oel ngati kameie ma oeyä 'eylan. Ngari nawma sa'nok lrrtok siveiyi frakrr.

Well, I feel a little better, I guess it's back to work on Harrison's Mind.

P.S. Yes, I have seen the Avatar re-release already....twice.

EDIT: Well, one person has figured it all out, I half relieved and half afraid. I am such an idiot.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Harrison's Mind Update

So, I got a bit of work done on Harrison's Mind - Episode 1 and finally established a scope of this thing.


FUUUUUUU-   There's a lot of work to do. I got about 8 minutes of work done and the episode is going to be about 35 minutes long in 3 parts. Meh. So, I can probably do about 5 minutes every other day at best and I'm sure there will be part of the week I don't get any work done. That means we're looking at around 2 weeks before I release this, maybe less if I have a productive day.

Meh, this is going to take a while. It's TOTALLY worth it though, I'm so excited for this.

Also, this weekend, Cyh, Corky and I were chatting on skype and recorded a crazy hour of us chatting as well as a commentary for Chell's Mind - Episode 00. Expect those sometime soon as well.

EDIT: NOT A HAPPY PIRATE! The recording we made got messed up somehow and it only has my side of the audio. It think it was skype's fault but, still, not happy! That was so funny and I was really looking forward to sharing that. Meh, we'll just have to do it again some time. Sorry folks, the commentary came out fine though.

Friday, August 13, 2010


Hey, guys, remember about this time last year when I moved to my new apartment and I couldn't update Barney's Mind for a while because my internet company kept fucking me over? Well, you probably also missed the many month long saga after that where they kept charging me for services I didn't have and failing to send me my bills to the right address. Seriously, I memorized their customer service number it was so bad. About the only reason I stuck with them was because I had put so much effort into getting their damn service I didn't want to waste it and start all over. (Also, they have the best quality internet around).

It also seems like I'm far from the only one they've screwed over. Apparently tons of people were having the same problems I was or worse. Apparently, the real problem all stem from their crappy billing system that kept screwing up setup orders, billing records, billing addresses, etc.

Anyway, fast forward a bit, I just realized today that I haven't received a bill from them in a while. This happened when I moved last year and caused me to get behind in my bills because I'm too lazy to keep track of them unless they mail them to me. So, anyway, I'm basically cursing them and their crappy computers and I call them up and their fucking office is closed! Bastards! So, I called the automated account thing and after fighting with that for a bit I get to my account balance and, totally expecting it to be like $150 or something annoying, the stupid automated voice tells me it's:


Oh that just suc-wait? What?! I owe you nothing? The automated voice than says "your last payment was on June something-or-other". Ummm, so I haven't been billed since then?




If this doesn't make you smile then you are a cold, heartless person (or a robot)

Dawwww, it's so cute and shy. I want to pet it!

...Anyway, there, you've now had your daily required amount of cuteness, back to your lives citizens.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Avatar (I know...) and Harrison's Mind

So, I think I've recovered from my vacation. Back into my usual swing of sleep, work, hobbies, rinse and repeat.

Harrison's Mind is finally back on track and the vacation really helped me get my motivation up despite how long this has been taking. I've finally got all the gun audio tweaked the way I want it and I've found out how to remove Harrison's dialog and I think I've even figured out how to remove his little screams every time the pansy steps in some alien acid.

I've also been playing through a bunch of it testing things and working out plot points for later on and figuring out jokes I can setup. I'm really excited about this because this universe is so much more open and I have tons more avenues for jokes. With Barney's Mind, Barney already had a personality, Black Mesa was already set in canon, events were already known after HL1 and Blue Shift. With Harrison, I'm free to make tons of jokes (for example, a joke I thought of recently involving Larry the Cable guy being elected president, don't ask).

The other thing is I forgot how fucking scary this game was. Seriously, I've played this game like 20 times, I know where all the aliens come out of and what to expect. Still though, many times in the game I've been afraid to enter a room because I don't want to have something appear behind me and start trying to rip my face off. Also, this game is hard! Seriously, when a face-hugger starts running around the shit hits the fan! You just start unloading without stopping because if one of those fuckers leaps at you it's an instant kill (and the screen shows the little bastard sucking on your face from Harrison's POV, very creepy). And the aliens are no better, they can be taken out fairly easy but they move quickly and appear suddenly, a few swipes from them and you're an alien sandwich. Once you get some of the more advanced guns it helps but those things chew through ammo like there is no tomorrow so even though some of the pressure is off, when you run out of smartgun ammo, up goes the blood pressure again.

I'm really worried that, since you guys wont be playing the game it will loose some of the tension but I hope to counter that by making Harrison freak out as much as possible and try to up the scary by emphasizing various situations and whatever. Also, the game has great atmosphere, music, and sound effects so it should be good enough. Bonus points to people who watch the episodes at 3 am with the lights off, that should make it truly a mind-fuck.

Oh, and the first episode. I've decided to make it a REALLY long one so that I can get to shit-hits-the-fan part. So, that means, unfortunately, it's going to take a while to get the episode out but, trust me, it will totally be worth it. No idea when it will be done but probably not any time soon. Since I've got a good drive going to get it done I may have it done in a week or two but we'll see.

Okay, next item on the agenda...now, bear with me here. If you are sick and tired of Avatar then please skip this. I know, I know, I have issues. *Ahem*

If you haven't seen the other one then see that too.

FUCK! YEA! I can't wait, I've been cold turkeying (yes, I totally accept I am addicted to this movie) and not watching Avatar for about 2 months now. I'm saving up all my excitement for when it comes out. From what I know of the original script they added in all the best scenes. I think these scenes will really add a lot to the people who said "it'd be great if it had a little more character/plot development" and, at the very least, should add some of the more visually stunning scenes back in that were cut.

(Possible minor spoilers ahead)

From what I can tell they're going to add a sturmbeast hunt (which I'm worried will be a little too much like the Dances with Wolves buffalo hunt but the little snippet in the trailer have put my fears to rest), a scene at the beginning with Grace's old school (should add a lot to Grace's character), the full love scene between Jake and Neytiri (come on, who doesn't want to see this scene), a counterattack by the Na'vi after the humans destroy the willow glade (utral aymokriyä) (this should really flesh out why Quaritch goes so ballistic against the Na'vi and why Selfridge agrees to let him destroy Hometree), the scene between Hometree getting destroyed and Quaritch launching his full offensive where Selfridge tries to stand up to him but Quraitch basically says "what are you going to do about it little man?" (this should help a lot with Selfridge's character as he really was way too stereotypical in the original), more action scenes in the final battle (who doesn't want that?), and, finally, a cute scene of Neytiri chasing the little spinning lizards (which I love her smile in) that I believe happens near the beginning.

I also hope they add the scene where the other human Avatar drivers rebel and, with the help of the Na'vi, take out Hell's Gate, but that's a long scene and I don't think it would add that much so I wouldn't be surprised if they left that out.

Anyway, totally stoked for this, also, I'm really excited to see if they dump any new Na'vi language in there and see how well I can pick it up since I've all but memorized the Na'vi in the movie right now. Ahhh, I've never been this fanatic about anything, not even Lord of the Rings. I can at least understand why the Twilight fanatics enjoy feeling that way, it's fun to just passionately enjoy something so much that it becomes irrational.

Okay, enough of that, I don't want to lose every single person who reads my blog. So, yeah, Harrison's Mind soon, can't wait. Also, if you don't watch Felix's Mind I'm in the latest episode and will be in some of the episodes after that playing Barney Calhoun (told you I'd reappear as him sooner or later :P). I think some of the dialog came out a little forced since I was unsure of the context and was trying to match the original dialog so that the lip-syncing worked out. Overall though I think the dialog works well, especially the in-joke about douchbag. :) Also, as with Chell's Mind, Corky put in a funny little line of mine at the end. :D

Oh, and finally, I've become so addicted to Cyh's book it's almost as absurd as my Avatar addiction. She's got this crazy cliffhanger going on so I must go read that now. Muahahahahahaha! [Runs off cackling insanely]

P.S. Corky has convinced me that I must make a hilarious video of me chasing butterflies....don't ask, but it will probably happen. :D

P.P.S. No, I don't know where I put my sanity. I think it's still in the car, let me go look.

Monday, August 9, 2010


I exist again...

Way too tired to touch the email, not even daring to look how many emails I have. 12 hour drives are suck. Outings are awesome. Good times all around. Pictures in the morning. Pictures coming soon.

Click here for some pictures, more will be added soon.

Another good picture:

Wednesday, August 4, 2010